And, in other respects, Wonder Boy and I sound spot-on. Rigid with shame, I type: 'I am a witty and cultured English woman, who studied and taught at Oxford, and am now a successful writer.
I love literature, art, opera, perfume, poached eggs, being by the sea, dogs, trees, tea, impeccable manners and children.'I'm curious about the world; fascinated by the past and energised by the future; at ease dressing up, yet happy dressing down.
The 48-year-old life coach and former model is media mogul Oprah Winfrey's favourite relationship expert and the go-to girl for every A-list couple in a crisis (although maddeningly she's tightlipped about who).
Her latest, and most intriguing commission is to seek out a soulmate for a 'charming', but as yet unidentified American millionaire, tired of women after his cash not his character.
A time will come when clarity will replace confusion, when understanding will supplant puzzlement.
At times, one encounters a word or phrase that may seem unremarkable but becomes considerably more poignant, even striking, when savored slowly and thoughtfully.
She is also, as she makes clear, 'impossible to con', despite my bringing her a British bribe - a jar of Marmite.
Yet, here I am, standing in a figure-hugging frock, being assessed - and rejected - for possible romance.
Still more curiously, the individual I am being sized up by is a woman - not just any woman, but the world's leading matchmaker.'Love architect' Kailen Rosenberg has played Cupid to countless people looking for love during her 22 years in the business.
But from our limited vantage point as mortals, we cannot see that, and so are anguished at the "bad things" that seem to happen to "good people" and vice versa.
But being a believing Jew means trusting that God knows, even if we don't, just what He is doing.